“What will make you happy?” – Mitu asked her friends one day while hanging out. Raju said, “I have worked hard for two years, and now a promotion with big salary raise will make me happy”. Ema said, “I have been preparing for IELTS and GRE for a year, getting a Ph.D. offer from a good university will make me happy”. Salam said, “I am so tired of work, a long trip to the mountains will make me happy”. Maya said, ‘I do not need anything big for being happy, just a movie night and a nice dinner with friends will make me happy”.
Does any of these answers match yours? What will make you happy? Promotion? Graduation? New car? A trip abroad? Movie night? Or probably, a combination of all these, right?
If you take a look at these answers, you will realize that all of these are big events of life that you cannot get very often. Though Maya’s wish to watch movies and have dinner at restaurants seemed an easier option than others, even these are not something that you can do every day! Generally, we wait all month, year, or sometimes several years for such milestones and think that “Once I get this done, I will be happy!”
While waiting for those grand happiness goals, we often get frustrated in the process of achieving them and our expectations regarding the goals become higher. It means, if we cannot reach that goal, everything else might seem meaningless to us. Even when we reach the goals, we have already put so much emphasis on them that if any small part does not go the way we planned, the whole joyous occasion gets ruined.
And what if everything goes as planned? Does that really make us happy? Sometimes it makes us happy for a short period of time, then we set another bar for ourselves and wait for that to make us happy.
It is very wise to plan for the future and work hard for turning it into reality. But let’s just think for a moment:
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Are you missing the present while building the future?
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Are you ignoring the little hangouts while planning for the one big trip?
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Are you waving up the joy of meeting deadlines while waiting for the big promotion?
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Are you overlooking the chance to appreciate yourself for securing good marks in one exam while dreaming of the big graduation ceremony?
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Are you forgetting the coziness of watching old movies with family while anticipating the new Marvel movie?
Physically, we are living in the present (no doubt there!) But what about mentally? Are we focusing on what is happening right now? Or, are we occupying our brains by worrying about what already happened and what will happen? When we are too much worried about the past or the future, we are actually ignoring the present, where ‘WE ARE’!
Now close your eyes and think about what makes you happy every day.
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Is it having morning tea on the balcony?
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Listening to music while going to the office?
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Massaging oil on hair after a stressful day?
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Reading a few pages of a book before going to sleep?
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Watching clippings of favorite TV series?
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Eating something sweet after lunch?
If you want, you can make a list of these simple things that fill your heart instantly with joy. This delightful feeling may not last for long, but that is not a problem because the good news is, we can do these ‘Everyday’! Even several times a day!
So, while waiting for the ultimate happiness (if there really is something like that!), let us capture the teeny tiny blisses of daily life! Let us enjoy every sunrise, every song, every movie, every cup of coffee, every smile, every spark, and every ray of blessing that we have or we can get without much effort. These little steps will make us happy every day and make our grievous journey towards the big goals more tolerable, even enjoyable!
Let’s relish the little joys of life! Who knows, one day these little joys may turn into one of the big ecstatic moments that we were waiting for!
Nasrin Sultana Shila is a psychologist, educator, author, and content creator
