Grief is inevitable in all our lives. When someone loses his or her loved one, grief as well as excruciating pain is a certainty. Some people may even start living with the memory of the deceased person. It is very natural to feel pain and sorrow because of having an intimate relationship with the departed soul. Grieving over a natural death is normal, however unnatural deaths may lead to longer grief time.
When someone, very close to us, dies, we lose connection with that person forever. It may even change our lives. For example, if a child suddenly loses his or her parents or one of the parents, his or her life is bound to change forever. In absence of a guardian, the child would struggle to lead a lonely life or make decisions. These consequences will continue till this child is fully grown up and can take care of his or her own life. However, bitter life experiences and unprocessed grief emotions at early ages will be stored in his or her body and mind. Grief is more like what happens inside whereas mourning is what we see on the outside.
In recent days, especially after the pandemic, we are facing grief globally. Many people are coping well with their grieves, while many others are struggling to cope at all. The pandemic has made grieving more difficult and intense because of people’s continuous fear of loss. It has created a grief cycle, which many people have been experiencing for a long time together and facing difficulty to overcome it.
DSM-V TR (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual-5 Text Revision) has identified the duration of prolonged grief disorder as 1 year for adults and 6 months for children. However, grief time may vary among people. The expression of grief may vary with religious beliefs, cultures, or some other reason.
Grief has a strong relationship with trauma. It reminds us how vulnerable we are to death or loss. Hence, this is a topic that we do not talk much about. But we all accept that grief happens to all of us and we learn to live with our losses even after not recovering completely. There is no right way to grieve as well. We should always support others and develop connections with them when they lose someone by showing some sort of kind gesture or sharing our pain to overcome the grief.
Mousumi Sabina is a Bangladeshi Counselling Psychologist, M.Sc. and American Board of Examiners Certified Practitioner in Psychodrama, Sociometry and Group Psychotherapy. At present, she resides in New York, USA
